Last week my post was about how I need to start appreciating the people in my life a lot more than I currently am. I find it really hard to juggle time spent with family, friends, and my other commitments. Finding the right balance is key to keeping the people you value most in your life.
For some of you, it’s your grade 12 year. The reality is, after graduation you may never see some of those people ever again. I know from experience some of the people you meet in high school you don’t ever want to see again. But I also know that we all have that group of friends, big or small, that we’ve made countless memories with.
Throwback to my high school graduation, where I was co-valedictorian of my graduating class
I still remember my last full day of classes at my high school, SATEC @ W.A. Porter in Scarborough. It was the end of the day and I was with a group of my friends and we were reminiscing the past 4 years. It was all smiles and laughs until one of my friends said they were really sad because we wouldn’t be able to see each other every day.
I was really involved in extra curricular activities at my high school so I got to know everyone in my graduating class to some extent. That’s when it occurred to me: as soon as summer vacation starts, I probably won’t see some of these people. We were all going to different places and I knew it wasn’t possible to keep in touch with everyone.
Keeping in touch with people when you don’t see them regularly is not easy. You live two completely separate lives but make time for each other because that’s what friends do. You’re there for them, just as they are for you. So with that, I wanted to highlight a few tips and reminders on how to keep in touch with those people you rarely see but know will always be there.
1. Scheduled get-togethers
It is super easy to say you will hang out with your friends, and you may think that just because you were inseparable in high school means it will follow through in university. But the truth is, getting a group of friends in the same place at the same time is a lot harder than you think. The only time I actually see my high school friends now is at their birthdays or at our annual little get-togethers around Christmas.
So try to establish weekly, monthly, or yearly traditions so you can make time for your friends.
2. Constant Communication
Constant communication is key to keeping in touch. Whether it’s texting them every now and then or calling them, try to stay in the loop about their lives; gossip about things, talk about the future, their new friends, etc.
One thing that works really well for my group of friends is a Facebook group chat. You get to inform your inner circle about things all at the same time, and it rarely dies down because you are all sharing things about your lives.
4. Grab a coffee/lunch/dinner
I find you catch up with someone a lot better if you’re with them. So take your friend or friends out to dinner, or even a study sesh at a coffee shop. It’s productive and brings you closer even if you aren’t always by each other’s side.
5. Spontaneous hang outs
This actually works a lot more effectively than you’d think. A lot of the time finding a perfect date for everyone is next to impossible. Whenever you get a text or call from your best friend asking “what are you doing right now?” and you aren’t actually doing anything, that is prime time to meet up with them.
Pretty much me whenever I have to do anything.
Spontaneity works especially well against your friends who don’t like to go out much (aka me). It works because they do like their friends and want to hang out with them — even though they want to be in bed, they would much rather be hanging out it you.
6. It takes two.
Lastly remember that if you are on the other end of the friendship — getting the messages, phone calls, and invites — you need to put in some work too. I’ve lost friends because I’ve had to prioritize other things over texting them back.
Be persistent. I have one friend that texts me at least once a week, and sometimes I am a horrible person and forget to reply to her. But that doesn’t stop her from texting me again the next week.
There’s also this really dumb unwritten rulebook of texting… This doesn’t apply to your best friends. You can’t justify not talking to your bffl because they “didn’t text you first” or because they “posted an Instagram photo and didn’t reply to your message.”
I hope this post encourages you to be proactive about your friendships or any relationships in your life. Maybe the next thing you can message your bestie about is how hideous this white and gold dress is:
Khanundrum 