Initially I was going to write a post about something completely different. However, I had a short but super eye-opening conversation with my mom the other day that made me question what kind of person I am.
Growing up living with my grandparents, I was always surrounded by family. In elementary school, every morning after my parents left for work, my grandma made sure I was awake and would make me breakfast. She did this same morning routine literally everyday until I was in about grade 11 or 12. I was a momma’s boy and for that reason I was always expected to be at home and never had much freedom.
My grandma and I on her 81st birthday
From being with my family a lot when I was younger, to spending so much time at Glendon now, I am kind of caught between two things I love. My mom has 11 siblings, so I have 38 cousins from her alone. This means tons of family gatherings — birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, etc. In the gaps between those events, I spent weekends at my cousin’s. My life was very family-centric.
Now, having this new-found freedom in university I was able to do anything and everything I wanted to do in my first and second year. I was on residence so much that the DONs thought I lived there. I was always around campus whether or not I had classes. In short, Glendon became my second home.
With that said, my family was put on the back burner. I was never really at home. I never really wanted to be at home. And when I was at home, I was in my room. Despite all of this, whenever I was home my mom always asked me how I was doing, my grandparents always asked when I was coming home, and my mom wouldn’t hesitate if I ever needed anything.
This past summer I was working in the Principal’s Office and was the Vice-President Finance of Glendon College Student Union. So naturally, even though I wasn’t taking any classes at Glendon, I was at Glendon.
On a Friday morning I got a phone call saying that my Grandma was taken to the hospital. On Sunday, June 22, 2014 my grandma passed away. It was the most devastating news I’ve heard in my life. Even in light of this horrible event, my family became a lot closer than we were before.
My grandparents and I before my high school prom.
Which brings us to the conversation I had with my mom the other night. To give some context, my grandpa was put on new medication and he found out he was allergic to it and we had to take him to the hospital. When I was talking to my mom, I told her it was just an allergic reaction, there was no need to overreact. She told me that my grandpa had thought he was going to die that day in the hospital. I realized that someone can be there one minute and be gone the next. It doesn’t matter how healthy they appear, anything can happen. Appreciate what you have when it’s here — not when it’s gone.
I’ve been taking a lot of things for granted recently: friendships, academics, and most importantly my family. I guess I am super fortunate… No I am super fortunate for the people in my life. I have said in previous posts that I am sort of shy and a natural introvert. I rarely reach out to people, and hardly keep in contact with the people that matter most in my life.
In a sense I think the world revolves around me, and it doesn’t. The important people in my life today may not be the important people in my life tomorrow if I keep expecting more from them then I expect to give.
“One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”
Coming to university is a big step towards your future. Whether you like it or not, big or small, you will change. Yes, you’re growing up but you no matter where you go from here, one thing will never change: the people who brought you up. Respect them, cherish them, and show that you appreciate them. One day they won’t be here anymore and all those things you thought “went without saying” will be the things you regret telling them most.
Khanundrum 